Shop-a-holics Anonymous

I'm in the mood to shop. I want to try on clothes. I want to feel the tags scratching my back as I look at myself in the mirror. I want rude sales girls to roll their eyes when I ask for another size. I want to tear new pairs of shoes from their tissue paper wrapping. I want to walk through the store and stare at my feet in the perfectly untouched leather and smile.

Perhaps I am a sick individual. Actually I know I am. I am addicted to material things. Call me shallow, call me ridiculous, call me cliche, call me obnoxious, but don't you dare call me a shop-a-holic. Because I am too effing broke to shop like a true addict. Oh the things I would give to be able to buy those $800 Christian Louboutin leopard print wedges without a second though. The things I would give.



It's obsurd to obsess over all those things I will simply never have, I know. Sure I could go all Isla Fisher on your ass and throw myself into thousands of dollars of credit card debt. But I would much rather buy the next best thing, not go into debt, and be just as happy.

Welcome to Shopaholics Anonymous (SA). The place where it's ok to be a broke ass hoe who loves all things material. It is here that we shall learn to satisfy our cravings to spend money with class, dignity and a wonderful sense of style.

Lesson 1: You are Not Alone-- The Fashion Gods are Broke Ass Shopaholics Too
How do I know this? I know this because I read Vogue. And every three issues or so, the magazine will include an amazing blessing in the back of the index called "100+ Under 100". This section is a Godsend.

Things from this month's issue that are Shopaholics Anonymous worthy-
1) Khaki Old Navy Trench- $50





To the Old Navy haters- I have had my $30 black Old Navy trench for 4 years now and I get complimented on it literally EVERY time I wear it, and I wear it all the effing time and it's still in great shape!

Already have a basic trench? Well this Spring is all about COLOR so I love this Belted Twill Trench in Cosmopolitan Berry (also only $50!), as a fun alternative to the basic Khaki.

2)Simply Vera by Vera Wang Paintbrush Pleated Skirt @ Kohl's- $40




This skirt is PERFECT for an alternative to a drab work suit. Pair it with a navy blue blazer or cardigan with some sweet navy flats or pumps. If you're going on interviews and want to stand out, this is definitely the perfect look to go for: fun, professional, and trendy. And a skirt like this works on almost every body type.

3) H&M Navy and Red Flower mini dress.

There are many different style options and color combinations of this large rose print dress. It's similar to the Thakoon Floral Print dress phenomenon from last season. It's a great go-to dress for Easter Sunday, graduation parties, bridal showers, even spring/summer weddings.



Lesson 2: Shop with a Goal

Random shopping is always fun on weekend afternoon, but even random shopping should have a purpose. Think about what you actually NEED, instead of shopping impulsively for stuff that catches your eye. At the beginning of every season I write down a list of things I actually NEED to buy for my wardrobe. I copy the list onto a post-it note and stick it in my wallet. So if I go on random shopping excursions, I am reminded of what I should be spending my money on and I have an idea of what to look for. Example: My basic black flat boots are falling apart, they are essential to my daily life in Boston and MUST be replaced. I write down my dilemma and the next time I pass by Saks and their 70% off sales, instead of running to the stilettos, I will open my wallet, remind myself of the holes in my boots and make a beeline to the black leather beauties.

Lesson 3: Resist the Temptation for the Trendy

Trendy, crazy, experimental fashion statements are fun but can be dangerous. Take those fucking metallic spandex leggings from American Apparel for example. Ugliest shit I have ever seen. Only looks good on people with very thin legs, and reminds me of my mom's 80s jazzercise outfits. I mean, if you like to work out 24/8, I guess it works. But the bottom line is that those "disco pants" will only be socially acceptable as casual wear for this season. Next season, they will just look like outdated, shiny trash bags. So why the EFF are you spending $90 on FUGALICIOUS leggings? You're a shopaholic freak of nature. That's why.

You COULD have spent $16 on the same effing shit at Forever21. Don't you wish you had just said to yourself, "I know these leggings are super hipster and fun, and I look so DAMN good in them, but I think I should look a few other places to see if I can get them for a cheaper price. Besides, I know these fit me so I could just order them online if I don't find anything else."

Think before you purchase my shopping addict friend. It will be worth it. And the money you saved on those god awful stretch pants you can put towards those SWEET Navy blue Lamb pumps to go with that amazing Simply Vera skirt.

At Shopaholics Anonymous, we understand that you will always be a shopaholic at heart. To be honest, we wouldn't like you any other way. But at SA, we want to you be the smart and savvy shopper we know you are deep down. So, please, come to the meetings once a week and be enlightened. Fill your closet with only the best, cheapest, and most fashionable finds. And then go out and conquer the world with a little more money in your wallet and that much more style in your step.