Fashion Fug of the Day: Jessica Alba

I have never truly been a fan of Jessica "Don't call me Latina" Alba as an actress, but always a quasi fan of her personal style. (note: I am just as Hispanic as she is, and look a whole lot more Caucasian then she does, but I can't deny that I am still Latina (ie: my last name gives you right to call me Latina)...hence my distaste for her in general) She is usually a little too slut-tastic for my taste, but for the most part she has her shit together.



Bottom line, whether or not she is usually fashionable, recently the fashion police got called on her fugly ass for wearing the most obnoxious Miu Miu feather mini jacket EVER. Observe her recent atrociousness at Paris Fashion Week:



Just Jared reported, "According to the Canadian Press, front-row guest Jessica Alba said she was lusting after a dress with a sheer aqua bodice with a burgundy skirt and one of the mid-calf-length A-line skirts that were paired with bras and fur-lined scarves cinched onto the hips with tie belts."

Excuse me while I go vomit. Feathers are def in this season AND next season but this look is absolutely ridiculous. She looks like she got tarred and feathered before she made moves at Fashion Week. Nice try, Mrs. Alba, but you're definitely not a fashionista, don't hurt yourself trying to be one.

Please note: This is proof that not everyone can pull off every new trend/look. You have to wear what works for you. And some looks are best kept in the fashion archives for all eternity ::cough, cough:: Miu Miu feather jacket....::cough, cough::

Shopaholics Anonymous: Reckless Acts of Shoes

Spring is coming. Can't you just taste it in the air? I could taste it when I was in LA for Spring break, not so much here in Boston. It's supposed to snow next week. Let's just not even go there...

But at Shopaholics Anonymous, instead of snow, we will talk about SHOES. Specifically sandals. More specifically, sandal shopping. See, sandals are a year-round staple back home in California. A year-long staple that I DEARLY miss. Let's put it this way, when it comes to reckless acts of shopping: I have a shoe fetish. So I was more than excited when I got my daily email from Nordstrom and it read "Sandals Under $100, Free Shipping on All Orders". UMMMM, excuse me while I die a little bit.

Totally clicked on that shit and it lead me to the wonderful world that is Nordstrom's Sandal Shop for Women. And when Nordstrom says under $100, they mean it, and boy did they deliver! I usually feel like Nordstrom tells dirty lies when they say "cheap, affordable, under $$$". The stuff that is actually cheap is almost always less than mediocre, and usually when they claim things are "affordable" they are just pretending that $300 is affordable to the world. I feel like saying, "Here's $30, pretend it's $300 and then your overpriced crap will have the right to be labeled as 'affordable'."

But there were no lies today in my sandal mail, no lies at all. Shopaholics, words simply cannot describe my delight. Stand, and bear witness to all that is fashionably holy: The Nordstrom Sandal Shop: Sandals Under $100.

But before we get in over our heads, lets just review the Shopaholics Anonymous take on this shoe fetish. When we find something we love, we must take into consideration our actual need for these lovable things. So before I let myself get click-happy, I decided to make a quick list of types of sandals that I actually need for this spring/summer season.

1) The everyday Gladiator flat sandal:




Styleyze loves Gladiators because: they are a trendy alternative to flip flops and can be worn with casual clothes everyday or used to dress down more formal outfits.
My favorite gladiator in the Under $100 Shop: Well, it's a tie.

The Jeffrey Campbell "Greta 2" in pewter for $70

And the Sam Edelman "Greco" in gold for $90.

I like the J. Campbell shoe because it's very similar to a pair of my Cynthia Vincent gladiators from two seasons ago that are totally ready for the trash. Hence, they will make a great replacement and I LOVE the color. And I like the Sams because they are SO greek-chic, plus gold is the IT shoe color for this spring, and they will go great with summer clubbing dresses for when I want an alternative to dressy heels.

2) The Platform strappy sandal:



Styleyze loves platforms because: This look is so hot right now, and so flattering/comfortable in comparison to the normal stiletto. Getting this sandal in black or brown will allow me to wear it for seasons to come. Plus I found a shoe-twin of the shoe I hyper-linked above, made by none other than FERGIE.



Did you even know Fergie had a shoe line?? I didn't. She actually has two. Allow me to present: Fergie and her "cheap-o" brand Fergalicious by Fergie. The 'Fergie' line is basically all sandals and heels and the 'Fergalicious' line has sneakers and more casual flats.

Either way, they sell all her 'Fergie' ish at Nordy's. And these lovelies caught my eye for my fave platform sandal:

Fergie 'Teema' Sandal in brown for $99.

They are almost $100 cheaper than the Reports Vanessa Hudge is rocking in the pic above and they literally look exactly the same. Sweet deal.

3) The Wedge Sandal:
Styleyze loves the wedge because: It's a more comfortable alternative to the stiletto heel and makes you look tall and awesome in a sundress.
My Fave from the Under $100 Shop: The Steve Madden "Quantam" Sandal in brown for $79



This shoe is comfortable, easy to pair with any outfit, day or night, and it also comes in black. And the cinched detailing in the center of the shoe strap will create a nice long line between your leg and your foot, accentuating your calves. What's not to love?

So, now that the shoes are all out on the table at under $100. Go forth and explore the 20+ pages of Spring sandal glory. But, like we always say at Shopaholics anonymous, don't let your fetish get the best of you. Before you even click on those links. Make your own list of sandals you want. Look in your closet, do some research, peek in a few magazines to see what styles you like/are wearable for you. and then go and conquer the Nordstrom Sandal Shop.

Shopaholics Anonymous is now out of session, but sweet sandals this Spring are so in.

Fashion Icon of the Day: Rachel Bilson

I have always love Rachel Bilson (former star from The OC), for her classy, feminine, trendy, and very clean sense of style. She is one of my top five style icons because she always looks put together and seriously knows how to pull a great outfit together for any occasion. Rachel is also known for styling herself for the most part, definitely giving the finger to greedy fashion-whore stylists like Rachel Zoe. Gotta love it!

So when I found pics of Rachel in a recent posting on Just Jared, I just had to share my enthusiasm for her with the world. Yesterday she rocked this amazing ensemble for a day of shopping in LA:




LOVE that navy velvet blazer. It has the cut of a men's blazer, which is a totally hot look right now. I haven't been the biggest fan of it until I saw Rachel wearing it with this adorable dress. The men's suit jacket look can be really reminicent of the 80s, but in a bad way if worn with the wrong articles of clothing, observe:


So Rach totally made this look feminine and classy when she paired her oversized blazer with that adorable embellished navy dress and a pair of neutral platform pumps. Along with a basic black leather handbag, she looks smart, sexy and totally Styleyzed.

A+++ to you, Miss Bilson. Definitely going to keep my style eyes on her for more fabulous ensembles.

Style School: Chic for Cheap

Welcome to the Style School, the place where fashionistas in training put their trendy shoes on and test their style savvy in the streets. It's like the Girls of Hedsor Hall or Charm School minus the gnarly uniforms and minus the fact that (I am guessing) none of my lovely pupils are alcoholic crack whores with knives and/or razor blades.

At Style School even the hottest of messes can learn a thing or two about how to strut the streets with just a little bit more style in their step. But here at Style School, we like to take things one stiletto at a time, so let's begin with some basics.

Lesson 1: You Always have Something to Wear- A Lesson in Home Economics

When you look in your closet and you say to yourself, "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. I DO NOT OWN ANY CLOTHES," that's a lie. You do have clothes. You have lots of clothes. Otherwise you would be naked everyday. And if you're a nudist exhibitionist, that's awesome, but otherwise nudity is uncool. In fact, nudity is illegal in most public places.

It's not that you have nothing to wear, it's that you are tired of wearing the clothes you have OR you feel like you don't have the appropriate clothing for the event you are going to. In most cases, this problem is easily solved. In my apartment, the clothing starved can borrow sick shoes, dresses, and handbags from their totally chic roomie. Unfortunately I don't live in everyone's house. Sorry.

But borrowing is always a great option, unsatisfying in my opinion, but great. The thing with borrowing is that the clothes aren't YOURS, so if you eff that shit up during a blackout drunk night, you're totally screwed. And what if your BFF's dress is totally hot on you and you want to wear it all the time, now you have to ask her before you do and make sure it's dry cleaned before you give it back, it's a hassle. Also, you may not have many people readily available to borrow from.

So if you hate to borrow, like me, then you can always re-invent. I find that when I have "nothing" to wear, I can take a dress or top that I probably wouldn't normally wear to an event and style it in a totally different way to make it work. Allow me to elaborate:

The "No Clothes" Issue: "I need an outfit that I can wear out to dinner with my parents that can also work for when I go to the lounge across the street to meet my friends for drinks after. I HAVE NO EFFING CLOTHES FOR THIS SHIT!!!!!!!"

The Solution via my Style Cookbook:

Recipe: Dinner outfit that can also work to go out in afterward

Ingredients- Sift through your closet for:
-a basic sun dress or even a beach cover up mini dress



-with your go-to black cardigan,




-tied together with a thick or thin black waist belt



-paired with black strappy heels.




Directions:
Wear dress with cardigan over it and leave it open. Wrap belt around your torso tying the separates together, fasten in front. Wear to dinner with parents and be classy. Take the sweater off when you get to the club and leave the belt with the sundress and heels. Wear at club, drink, dance, and be sassy. Repeat with as many different dress and cardigan combos as you like. Do not say you have nothing to wear ever again.
Note: Black is always a great color to use to accessorize with to make a regular day time outfit work for nighttime.

Now let's say that perhaps you don't have a basic black cardigan but you do have a basic black zip-up hoodie. You also have a black NorthFace fleece...do those work? NO, EW. That is disgusting. Save that hoodie shit for the gym. Save that North Face crap for when you go hiking. Bottom line: If you don't have a basic black cardigan, you need to get one. In fact, you should really have two. They are great for almost any time of year and they can pull a ton of looks together for you, no matter what your personal take on style is.

Oh wait, do I hear, "I don't wanna buy one, I don't have money for that right now. I would rather be ugly than spend money"? You're ridiculous. Shut up. There is NO excuse to be a frumpy ass at the Style School.

Please note that the dress and cardigan I picked out as examples in my style recipe are both made by a beachwear company called LucyLove. You can find the line at Pacific SunWear. I chose this line for two reasons:

1) It's a basic casual wear line that anyone can buy, anywhere. It's not by any means "fashion forward". But its realistic that any average person might have a simple dress or cardigan from this line. My point is that basic, non-couture pieces can LOOK super stylish without the price tag or the effort.

2) I recently went to an AMAZING Lucy Love warehouse trunk show at a super cute beach boutique called Holly Sharp in Corona Del Mar (Orange County), CA while on spring break. My friend got that exact black cardigan for $5. YEP. WHOLE SALE PRICES PEOPLE. Proof that sample sale savvy/bargaining instincts can get you what you need, but we will get more into the whole sample sale circuit later.



But seriously, even if there isn't a super amazing warehouse sale near you. Black cardigans and other basic black pieces are not hard to find and not that expensive. I do not suggest going the Forever21/H&M route with your basics though, because you really want them to last you as long as possible. To be honest, the Gap is an excellent source for basic pieces (ie: white button up shirt, basic black pant, khakis, etc). And right now they are on this whole Spring cardigan kick, so go there in six weeks and all that ish will be on the sale racks for DIRT cheap. Plus Gap clothes are truly made to be worn everyday since they are all about the basics, so the quality is better.



Lessons Learned:
- You actually DO have clothes in your closet
- Your own wardrobe is your best tool to use in order to style for less
- The sweetest fashions aren't always at the most fashionable stores
- When it comes to basics, it's okay to fall into The Gap

Stay in school and listen for next time when we put the savvy back into sample sales.

Fashion Week Leak: McQueen Shall Reign No More

While I've been basking in the West Coast sun for most of the week, I figured I could take some time out on this relatively gloomy day to get back to fashion. And to be quite honest, I'm sorry I did. Talk about bringing down my spring break buzz.

After reviewing London and Paris' shows from the past two weeks, I must admit that I feel like slitting my wrists ans drawing a warm bath. If, in order to stay fashionable next fall, I am expected to wear feathers and ridiculous head adornments all season, I would much rather commit fashion suicide. "What an extremist fashion diva," you say? I dare you to venture to the black abyss that is fashion week reviews and see for yourself.

Usually, when I feature I designer I do it with every intention of highlighting their work in a positive light. However, Alexander McQueen will not be so lucky this week. I am in a style depression and McQueen along with his nasty line of feathers and clown faces shall forever be dethroned and stripped of his title in my style bible. Prepare for true verbal assault, you fashion violator, you.

Yesterday in Paris, McQueen dared to be abstract by releasing his line of dramatic, misogynistic, and blatantly obsurd visions onto the runway. What resulted was nothing short of a fashion shit show. Think French crying clown mime meets Gothic feather factory and VOILA you have the Alexander McQueen FW 2009 runway show. But please do not let my bias sway you, observe some of my personal faves for yourself:





I mean, the possibilities are endless. It's Fall 2009 READY TO WEAR after all. And I am totally ready to wear that white feather jumpsuit with those 8 inch platform heels to my next dinner date. Or I could go out on a limb and be super classy with that giant houndstooth fur coat, lord knows that's a statement jacket! OR I could vomit all over Alexander McQueen and put him on my fashion shit list for being a disgusting abomination to the fashion world.

The question is: What the FUCK was he thinking? Is there meaning to this atrocity? But I doubt anyone truly knows the answer. According to Style.com, "This is a designer who has drawn so much poetry out of the past, yet this time his backward look appeared to be in something like anger, defiance, or possibly gallows humor. Some of the pieces, like a couple of swag-sided coats, seemed to be made of trash bags, accessorized with aluminum cans wrapped in plastic as headgear." Has he perhaps gone so far as to say, like the current economy, that fashion has no where to turn but down? May the fashion gods save our souls.

To top it all off, McQueen's Design-for-All line at Target also launched this week. At least this "cheap-o" line had a little more to show than his nightmare of a runway line. But even still, I'm not all that knocked out. If nothing else, it's very typical McQueen in concept, but hardly very typical Target in price.

One of the featured looks is a hideous blue "tattoo dress". At a whopping $80 for that nasty print, I would much rather get a real effing tattoo.


Some of the other pieces are all right, but nothing to write home about. I loved the smoke colored Studded Denim Jacket, a piece worthy of its price at $60, but it is already out of stock online and in the five stores closest to me. The line has only been out since Sunday, so I guess that's saying something. It means that his brand name does hold some authority in the fashion world, but that's all the more reason for him to be shunned for creating such an awful line for next season. You must give the people what they want, and if you fail to provide, prepare for the onslaught of verbal whiplash.



The signature tee he put out is also tres haute at only $23, but again, it is totally sold out in stores and online. LAME.


One dress that I did like for its simplicity factor, is actually one of the most un-McQueen pieces in the line. Go figure. The One-Shoulder Dress in Ebony is a fun, easy, comfy party dress. The bubble skirt bottom with the black jersey fabric makes it an easy fit on any body type and it's simple enough that you can dress it up with fun shoes, bangles and big earrings for a night on the town. And at $50, it's the perfect go to dress when you don't know what to wear. If you're feeling adventurous, I may suggest wearing a skinny patent leather belt in either black or a neon magenta or yellow around the waist of it to give it a different, more 80s style look. A word of advice, Target clothes usually run big, so either order true to your size or a size below to get the best fit.





All in all, minus some of the okay pieces in his Target line, McQueen gets a big fat F (as in FUGLY) in fashion from me for this season. Worst runway show ever, most over priced cheap-o line ever, fugliest overall performance ever. To summarize:

1) Sad clowns belong in the circus, not on the runway.
2) Tattoos belong on skin, not on dresses
3) Never pay more than $50 for a cheap designer dress at Target, otherwise it no longer really counts as cheap.

In the words of Styleyze: This Queen's reign is over. OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

Shopaholics Anonymous: Jewelry that's Just too Juicy

Welcome back to Shopaholics Anonymous, the place where it's okay to shop your heart out, but if you must you must, do it with style. Let's begin with a personal anecdote:

I woke up this morning to an email from Nordstrom with this headline: "Just In: Fresh, Affordable Dresses". I can buy a dress from Nordstrom that's not only fresh, but affordable as well? Nordstrom, affordable? The shopoholic inside of me was jumping with joy. I know I'm a dirt broke, but perhaps I can afford an "affordable" dress.

Oh, you best know that I opened that email rather than just trashing it, as per usual. And I'm glad I did. While the dresses featured are less than mediocre, and none of them are actually even under $100, the featured jewelry on the other hand was simply delightful.

Now let's be honest, I am not a fan of Juicy Couture. I hate those God forsaken sweats with a passion. In fact, they are the bane of my existence. Sweats are NEVER a fashion statement, people. Sweats are in fact, for SWEATING in, hence the clever name. So the whole glorified work out clothes thing can go suck it. If I'm going to work out I am not going to wear fake velvet. Do I want to overheat within the first five minutes of my run? I think not.

But Juicy jewelry on the other hand, is quite delicious. It can be obnoxious, don't get me wrong. But usually Juicy does a great job of copying more expensive jewelry trends, adding a little bit of their own flair, and slapping a more affordable price tag on it. In fact, my signature black and gold bracelet is Juicy and everyone always mistakes it for a Chanel bracelet. So, so when I saw the featured "affordable" jewelry in the email, the shopaholic/Juicy jewels fan inside of me simply could not resist.

Shopaholics, allow me to introduce the Juicy "Wish" Necklace. The newest, most affordable, MUST have item on my hit list.



This necklace is so cute! It comes in six different styles, ie: six different charms. It's only $48, but it looks like it costs way more. It's perfect as a gift for birthdays or ::cough, cough:: graduations... :)My personal favorite style is the Mother of Pearl Flower necklace.



And the great thing about this one is that it has a matching ring! SO obsessed. The ring is a little more pricey, $88. It's gorgeous though, a total knock off of last season's giant Chanel flower ring.


But here's where I have to be true to the Shopaholics anonymous mantra: I definitely do not need this $88 enormous ring. It is pretty, and yes I do want it. It also totally matches the Wish necklace. But chances are, I can find a similar one for much cheaper.

And I did.


It took me literally less than one minute to find a mother of pearl, GIANT flower ring at Forever21. And the price tag on this one: $3.80. UMMMMMM. Excuse me? I totally just bought it, in all three colors. (black, cream, and magenta) I just spent less than $12 to get THREE rings for a tenth of the price of what the Juicy ring would have been. And the cream one will match the necklace I want perfectly.




I feel fulfilled. Not only did I allow myself to shop for something I want, but I used self control, and in fact saved $70 and came out with THREE new rings for the price of less than one. This is truly Shopaholics Anonymous at work.

On another note, I still continued to click away on the Juicy jewels on the Nordy's site after I made my Forev purchase. And I found such the cutest new charms for the Juicy charm bracelets! I personally do not have one of those giant bracelets, because they are super heavy and not practical for me, but I LOVE the charms that Juicy puts out for them. My favorite from their new line: The White Elephant



How cute is he!? He's not too pricey, at just $52. And he opens up like a locket with space inside of him to keep things. While this is feature somewhat useless since the elephant is rather small, it's a good place to store earrings if you need to take them out for whatever reason.




I really like him, and I have this great idea of how I can still wear him and not get that charm bracelet. Wouldn't it be so simple and cute to wear the white elephant as a necklace? If you just get a plain gold chain, and stick him on there...TA DA! You have a super cute white elephant locket necklace that you made yourself. And it was only $52. You could even take the flower charm off your wish necklace and replace it with the elephant every now and then; a "wish elephant" necklace, if you will. And India Chic is so in right now, and this elephant is SO India chic.

Sometimes I am so innovative, I scare myself.

So lessons learned from SA today:
- Sweats are for sweating in
- Juicy jewels are your friend
- When it comes to being chic and cheap...use your imagination
- I am wearing that elephant to the Britney concert in 10 days, it's not only India chic, it's totally Circus chic too.

I'm off to California for spring break tomorrow, so stay tuned for updates from the West Coast fashion scene.

Keep it sassy. Styleyze, OUT!

The Professions of a Fashionista

I need a job man. I am straight up going to graduate in less than 70 days. Like, what is that?! How is it possible that I am going to be thrown into the "real world" in less than three months?

It's all simply too much to handle. I mean, how is a girl supposed to find a job in fashion in THIS economy? And by fashion, I don't mean a job at the Gap. I mean a real, high powered, Whitney Port-esq job in fashion PR. I am talking runway show production, designer representation, magazine networking, clothing line launch parties. I want to feel the cool, early autumn wind blowing through my hair at Bryant Park for Spring Fashion week as I prepare seating charts for the VIPs for the next big show. I don't care what designer it is or which celebs are there, it's not about the people, it's about the CLOTHES.

But I might as well kiss those dreams good bye. The economy has turned against me in the worst way possible. So I may as well give up and take that job selling life insurance, right? WRONG. Eff that. I will not settle. Even if the economy falls down the drain, I will still stand tall.

Here's the thing: Even if my dream job isn't knocking at my door, there are plenty of other great opportunities. I mean, internships are ripe and ready for the picking in pretty much every industry. And a great, paid internship can be just the ticket you need into the job of your dreams. Even if Chanel isn't hiring right now, maybe they will be hiring by the end of the summer and who better to hire than that fabulous, well dressed little intern who was so efficient all summer?...Ok, maybe CHANEL won't be saying that, but a girl can dream, can't she? Bottom line, many other employers will be, so we must not let these hard times discourage us. In fact, now, more than ever, is the time to embrace my mantra of "look good, feel good".

The job market is competitive and sparce right now, so every impression counts. It is essential that if you do get that interview, that you ROCK the shit out of it. So if your dressed like a shmuck, you're already giving the other guy a better shot. I don't care what all these assholes say about "It's all about the experience you have under your belt, that's what gets you the job. It's what's on your resume that matters." Shut up. You're wrong. Does it make any sense to say, "Oh, after my in person interview I didn't get the job. It's probably because they didn't like my resume."? No. That makes no sense. They already read your resume and they liked it enough to talk to you in person. Your resume didn't lose you the effing job, you and your frumpy ass lost it!

So let's do ourselves a favor and make sure that we don't let our poor sense of style lose us the job. In this economy, looks matter. So here are a few helpful hints for how to dress for the big day:

1) Skirts are your friend.
Wearing a nice, classy work appropriate skirt tells a potential employer that a) you are feminine and tasteful b) that you care about how you look and c) that you not only know how to act like a professional, but that you can dress like one too.

High waisted skirts are so haute right now. And I LOVE this trend. They give you a nice silhouette and work well on almost every body type. While I was shopping in H&M the other day I found this:



Love the color, love the waist line. Also, love the price- $29.99 at H&M. Now, obviously you wouldn't put it with a t-shirt for the interview. I'm thinking a white blouse, or a girly white button up shirt (think 3/4 sleeves or cap sleeves to keep the look feminine).

2) Dresses to kill

I also found this little number at H&M:



$49.99 for that amazing floral dress! This would be great for an interview because it has a conservative neckline, and a basic, flattering cut--not too short and not too long. Now, I know my blackberry didn't take the best pic of this one, but here's a close up of the fabric:



It's white and blue floral. I like the white and blue combo for an interview for two reasons:
1) Blue looks good on almost every skin tone
2) It's different from the every day black; when you wear this color combination it will set you apart from everyone else.

This dress will be worn best when paired with a long, navy cardigan. It would also look cute with yellow, but for the work place, darker colors are always better for first impressions, since you don't know what the clothing culture will be like yet. (ie: some places are very suit and tie, others are more trendy/hipster, and some places are even jeans and t-shirt...you won't know til your interview day!)

3) Slap on those Ciggies
I'm personally not a huge fan of pants in general but I realize the rest of humanity is, so if you must: do it skinny. Cigarette style pants are my favorite. (That's a very skinny legged pant with a fitted waist--not low and not high) They aren't typical in a professional setting but they are very flattering and mature looking with a masculine blazer.



I love this one from Urban Outfitters, only $68. It's versatile. You can pair it with your interview pants and a basic white tee underneath along with a fun beaded necklace and heels. It's simple and trendy. Then after the interview you can throw on your favorite jeans and chucks with it to go out for a drink to celebrate how hard you rocked the interview.

So, let's make your plan of attack:
1) Get the effing interview. That's the easy part, because on paper you're a goddess to begin with.
2) Get dressed for the effing interview because in this economy, you can't afford to look like shit. Like you literally cannot afford it.
3) Get the job/internship and prove to everyone that you can indeed beat the bad turn in the economy with your dashing good looks, your excellent sense of style...and oh yeah, your laundry list of amazing achievements and superstar personality.

Now go, conquer the Whitney Port's and Lauren Conrad's of the world. Get that six figure paycheck from Chanel. Buy those Louboutin's you've been dreaming of and wear them in your corner office. Or at least go and get the coffee for the one in the corner office. Whatever works.