Project Ugly: The Thrift Store Mafia Revolution

I have a bone to pick with The Thrift Store Mafia. The Thrift Store Mafia is in fact a name I created for a select group of individuals who are quickly becoming less select and more of an obscene majority. I'm pretty sure you all know who I'm talking about.

You know, those kids with their dirty Keds on. The kids with the 80's tees that they picked up at their local Goodwill. The kids with the plastic Raybans on, the hippie band across their forehead. The kids that ride their bikes around and listen to British New Wave. The girls who like guys who look like they haven't taken a bath in a few weeks, but actually have. The one's who The Cobra Snake takes pictures of all over "hipster" concerts when they are tripping on E and snorting coke in Hollywood. This kinda kid:


Sure, four or five years ago this was a fun, social trend among kids who weren't a part of the in crowd, people who weren't afraid to be individuals, people who screamed "I'M FUCKING DIFFERENT SO LOOK AT ME, YOU ABERCROMBIE WEARING DOUCHE BAG! I HATE YOU AND SO DOES AMERICAN APPAREL!" It was an alternative movement. Wearing American Apparel and shopping at the select Urban Outfitters stores meant you were tres cool, because no one else really did it. Cooler than those "in crowd, yuppie followers" But then, all of the sudden, EVERYONE wanted to be alternative. Because suddenly it was much cooler to be a kid who DIDN'T blend in with the "in crowd".


So the, Urban Outfitters and American Apparel and thrift stores across the nation started getting more popular. And now, it's hard for me to stare out the window of the Newbury Street store I work at without seeing a legging wearing, Rayban obsessed, "hip kid" with giant headphones on screaming "I AM SO DIFFERENT and ARTSY and INDIE MUSIC SAVVY" every five minutes.

Here's my main issue: this alternative lifestyle movement is actually pretty cool, but it's NOT alternative. It's completely mainstream. It's a style that the masses have embraced. More people shop at American Apparel than shop at Abercrombie and Fitch in urban cities. So the reason I despise the Thrift Store Mafia is not because I hate what their wearing (vintage clothing is always awesome and fun to wear and almost always cheaper than department store clothes, plus retro looks are constantly shown on the runways because style loves to repeat itself). I just hate that these people think they are being SO different. FYI you D-bags...artsy kids everywhere are doing the same thing you are.

So take off the granny glasses, turn off the oversized headphones, stop judging the preppy, Gossip Girl worshippers and take a good look around...because you are not alone. You are not going against the grain, baby, you ARE the grain. Welcome to 2009.

Going back to this Cobra Snake character. Never heard anything about him until my roommate Zeny, showed me his site last night. And all I have to say is: CREEPER. This is the dude that made Cory Kennedy famous. Cory Kennedy is the epitome of a SCENE QUEEN, aka: if the Thirft Store Mafia had a leader, she would be it. Basically, The Cobra Snake (aka: Mark Hunter) is a 23 year old photographer who takes photos of her and thousands of other girls exactly like her and posts them on his site. He travels with his DJ buddy to hipster concerts all over (but mainly in the LA underground scene) and then posts the pics on his site for all the other hipsters too "OOOO" and "Ahhhh" at.




He also has The Cobra Shop, a place where he sells "unique" vintage clothing pieces that he found in his photography travels. And you can purchase these works of art for around $50 to $60 a piece, usually more. Talk about THRIFT STORE prices! Sample of what's currently on his site:

I mean, guys, these pieces are SO unique, who wouldn't want to buy them just like ALL the other cool kids are?! Doesn't it just make SO much sense to make money off of a totally alternative movement that no one really knows about? It's so anti-capitalist, it's so anti-Abercrombie, it's so anti-commercial America, it's SO not a mass marketing scheme.

Excuse me while I VOMIT everywhere. These clothes are oversized T-shirts that you can get at your local Goodwill, and this hipster douche puts them on his online store and suddenly they are $60 because he recommends them? PEOPLE WHO BUY THIS SHIT BUY IT BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT RECOMMENDATIONS, THEY WANT TO BE DIFFERENT.

Do you see my frustration? As a self-proclaimed stylista, I just can't get into this alternative groove. Because for me, style should come naturally. This Cobra Snake, hipster revolution, is so forced, so commercialized, it's gross. Commericalized alternativeism??? WHAT?!

Bottom line: I wear hippie headbands sometimes too, but usually only when my hair is dirty. I like Rayban sunglasses just as much as the next girl. I totally dig this In N' Out tank on Cobra Shop, but I would never pay $60 for it. I never try to dress like anyone else. It's just not my style. I can definitely appreciate the hipster movement, be best friends with a New Wave rock kid, but I will never go to Urban Outfitters and buy a $30 feather for my hair and claim to be an individual. NOT happening. If I buy that $30 feather I will wear it with my mainstream DVF dress and gladly admit that feathers are so hot right now which is why I bought it. I just won't claim to be something that I am not.


So if you like the whole alternative, 80s, thrift store chic thing...more power to you. As long as you're doing YOU. But don't hate on fashion whores, preppy chicks, and gap jean wearing squares in the process. My advice: keep your style alternative to EVERYONE else's, so that you can claim your style as truly and uniquely YOURS. And if fashion doesn't come easy, it probably means your trying too hard.